Hey all, this one's for the Wrestling fans. I decided to pretend I had already seen Wrestlemania 23 and wrote a review for it, in the style of rantmaster Scott Keith. It was a fun little exercise, and it made for some fun work, I thought.


Live from Detroit, Michigan.

Your hosts are JR, The King, Joey Styles, Taz, JBL, and Michael Cole, who manages to scream 'biggest Wrestlemania of all time!' before Styles even finishes INTRODUCING him. To paraphrase a line from 'The Office' - I miss Tony Schiavone. Congratulations, universe; you win.

---Opening Match, US Title: Chris Benoit vs MVP - JBL starts in right away, noting that he won the title from Benoit the previous year. MVP taunts Benoit, who responds by staring daggers; MVP slaps him, and this triggers a slightly more physical reaction, as Benoit throws him into a corner and begins chopping and kicking him like a bitch. MVP bails, and now COLE is burying Benoit on the commentary, talking about how Benoit never made it back to the World Title. Either he's turning heel or going to Raw tomorrow night. Benoit chases, but gets introduced to the post and rolled back in. Porter takes over with shots to the ribs. Christ, Porter can't throw a punch to save his life, but Benoit, bless him, is selling it like he's being rabbit-punched by Joe Frazier in there. Porter continues kneeing him in the ribs, setting up for a Lionsault that Benoit rolls out of the way of. Benoit goes to an armbar, really putting some torque in it, and then, in a really cool spot, throws him overhead into the turnbuckle off a hammerlock. How that didn't kill him, I'll never know- Porter smacked his head HARD. And indeed, he looks dazed, but comes out of the corner and Benoit goes for the crossface. Porter rolls it into a small package using the tights, but Benoit viciously kicks out at one; these guys are getting some signals crossed out there, as neither of them looks particularly happy. Benoit with the Irish whip, but MVP ducks the clothesline and wipes out the ref, who may as well have had a sign that said 'Bump me!' considering the position he was in. Lord. Benoit with the crossface, and Porter screams and taps like a little girl, but there's no ref. Cole yells about the injustice, and now he's on Benoit's side? What the hell is going on with the damn commentary here? Benoit breaks and goes to check on the ref, which cues Porter to low blow Chris. He goes to the outside and grabs the US Title belt, smacks Benoit in the ribs with it, slaps on an abdominal stretch and rolls through for the pin and the US Title at 12:37. Best match of Porter's career, which admittedly isn't much of a comparison to be proud of. **1/2. Porter continues to beat on Benoit after the match until RIC FLAIR (!) in street clothes runs out to make the save. Que? Ah, I see- the camera just stayed on someone in the crowd flashing the four fingers. Well, I suppose it's as good a solution as any to freshen up Raw.

---In the back, Vince and Coach are talking about...ah, who cares. It's just an excuse to mention baldness before Teddy Long walks in, thereby allowing Vince to make an unfunny and blatantly racist joke about 'you people' being Lashley fans. Because all black people are bald or something. He laughs, his black employees laugh, and the NAACP lawyers laugh about how much money they're going to make when they call Vince out on this one. And by the way- Trump is here.

---The ECW originals are in the back, and they say that the next match is going to be a street fight, and that the 'new guys' are going to learn what the letters ECW are all about. Insert bounced paycheck joke here.

---Street Fight: ECW Originals vs New Breed - I have not watched an episode of ECW television since the first one, so bear with me. Suffice to say, every single one of the 'Originals' comes down to the ring with a weapon of some type; Sandman with the cane, Sabu with a trash can lid, Van Dam with a chair, and Dreamer with the barb-wire baseball bat. Of course, all the 'New Breed' pisses themselves when they see this, because only the true 'ECW' guys are EXTREME enough to bring a trash can lid to a wrestling match. What follows is sad and pathetic, and I mean that in the worst way. The only one of the old guys even trying is Dreamer. You want some play by play, well, you're at the wrong review, because here's how it would go. Punch, punch, punch, kick, kick, eye gouge, weapon shot, ladder spot that misses, punch, punch, kick, ref bump, punch, etc. There are literally something like five wrestling moves in the entire fucking match. An example of how stupid this whole thing is; Sabu takes a chair to the head, rolls to the floor, and attempts this ridiculously contrived railing moonsault onto Striker who has been put on a table by Van Dam. He doesn't even pause for a second to sell the chairshot. This thing is falling apart by the moment. Finally, with everyone else down, Striker and Thorn isolate Dreamer in the ring and perform one of the sloppiest Total Eliminations ever to get the pin at 9:54. *1/2, mostly for Dreamer and Striker, who at least gave it a shot. ECW is dead in the water at this point.

---A retrospective on Wrestlemania 3, which surprisingly has a ton of emphasis on Savage/Steamboat as opposed to Hogan/Andre. Maybe he pissed Vince off for real this time. Regardless, well done as most of these things are.

---Maria is with Edge, who reminds us that he's undefeated at Wrestlemania, and is just about ready to claim his second Money in the Bank contract, which will make him the greatest performer in Wrestlemania history. Someone disagrees, as the Undertaker walks into the interview to stare Edge down, and, as is contractually obligated by all talent, Edge immediately shits his pants and runs away.

---Money in the Bank ladder match: CM Punk vs Jeff Hardy vs Matt Hardy vs Fit Finlay vs Booker T vs Mr. Kennedy vs Randy Orton vs Edge - JR, Tazz, and Cole are calling this. In a total shocker, big brawl to start. The Hardyz are working together against Kennedy in the corner, and Jeff takes the first big bump, a vicious powerbomb when he attempts to rana Kennedy off the top. Meanwhile, Booker and CM Punk are busy in the other corner, with Punk throwing high knees and Booker not seemingly knowing how to sell them. Ah, well. Orton and Edge are working over Finlay, but Edge wanders away and helps Kennedy with the Hardyz. No one making a try for the briefcase yet. Matt Hardy and Orton pair off now, and Orton reverses the Twist of Fate into an RKO to end that little war. Finally, we have our first shot at it, as Booker goes for one of the ladders in the aisle, only to be stopped by Jeff Hardy, who's eyeing that ladder like it's....ah, let's keep this a mostly family review. Use your own dick jokes. Hardy grabs the ladder, but he gets dropkicked in the aisle by Punk, who in turn is clotheslined by Finlay. Finlay turns around into a dive by Edge, that was dangerously close to missing and killing Edge dead. That was actually a pretty sweet and well-timed series of moves up to that point. Edge grabs the ladder and now Matt Hardy is back and he's pissed. He hammers away at Edge, eventually hitting the Twist of Fate on the ladder, setting up the Swanton by Jeff. But now, we have a problem, as both Hardyz want the ladder, so they shrug and start to hammer each other. Kennedy takes the opportunity to set up another ladder, but gets dumped by Orton. The action at this point is literally too fast to call. Booker throws Orton out over the top, and it's an axe kick for Edge. Finlay comes in to stop him from climbing, and the Hardyz hit stereo dropkicks. This doesn't last, as Edge sneaks in with a spear that folds Jeff in half, and he tosses Matt to Kennedy, who powerbombs Matt off the apron through the ECW announce table. Well, that was about the best use of it tonight. Now it's Kennedy and Edge, but Kennedy neglects to check behind him and walks into an Orton chairshot. Edge and Orton face off, and the crowd is pretty firmly on Edge's side. They lock up, and Orton gets the better of him and goes for the RKO on the chair; Edge blocks and shoves Orton at Finlay, who smacks him with the shellailawhatever, and is rewarded as Edge spears him off the apron to the floor. Edge is finally all alone in the ring, and, in one of the smarter things I've seen anyone do in a ladder match, he goes from corner to corner, checking on each of the participants to make sure they're down before he starts his climb. He then heads up and gets his fingers on the briefcase before Jeff launches himself off the top rope and body blocks the ladder. Edge takes a NASTY bump, as he bangs his shoulder on the edge of the mat on the way out of the ring. That looked awful and may have changed the finish. So, to recap as of right now, we've got Edge, Orton, Finlay, and Kennedy all out on the outside, while Booker and Jeff Hardy are lying in the ring, and CM Punk and Matt Hardy are fighting their way back into said ring. Punk puts the Anaconda Vice on Hardy, who taps, which of course means nothing. Meanwhile, Orton has started to stir, while Edge is not moving at all. Kennedy is also moving, and he pulls another ladder out from underneath the ring, along with a table, and throws them in. Booker grabs the ladder and absolutely FLATTENS Matt Hardy with it, and Hardy falls out of the ring. That was about a 7.5 on the Joey Mercury scale. Hardy blades. Booker is having fun with his toy; Punk takes it next, and now HE blades. Jesus, how sharp are the edges on that thing? Booker seems to be satisfied with the carnage that he's caused and sets up the ladder for the climb, and Kennedy follows on the other side. Jeff Hardy comes to in the corner as the two of them fight on top of the ladder. Kennedy wins the fight, but loses the other one, that being Orton back with a chair across the back. Hardy follows with a Van Daminator on Orton, and there's no one to stop him as he struggles up the ladder. Or, seemingly no one, as now we get our spot of the night; Punk and Booker each grab a leg of the ladder from the other side and toss Hardy in an overhead throw as he reaches the top, catapulting him out through the table that Kennedy set up earlier. Crowd chants 'Holy Shit', deservedly so. Jeff is dead and now Punk and Booker are slugging it out. Punk gets the Vice on Booker, and he holds it until Booker passes out, leaving no one left to stop him from claiming the briefcase and winning the match at 21:36. **** Far better than last year's match, this one made the climbs few and far between, and the people in the match seemed to have learned something about making sure that the rest of the opponents were down before attempting the climb, and Punk won the match the same way- Punk made sure that Booker was down and staying down. There is no hope in hell that he challenges for the ECW title, though- JR and Cole both expressed enough admiration for Punk in this match that I think they're going to use his title shot to get him off the sinking ship that is ECW. Great match.

---Vince is in the back when Trump comes in, surrounded by his 'entourage', which is a fancy way of saying 'huge local prelim wrestlers we hired for a day.' He introduces Vince to his 'personal stylist'....Rico. Christ. Vince seethes. I would have loved to see him say "What are you doing working for this asshole?" to Rico, allowing Rico to come back with "This asshole gave me a job, he didn't keep expecting me to do them."

---Kane (A HOSS, BY GOD, A HOSS) vs The Great Khali - I will not call this 'match' and none of you can make me. No one sells anything and Khali wins with his shitty chop at 8:46. DUD. Let us never speak of this again.

---Hall of Fame Recap. We're interrupted by Chavo Guerrero, who's pissed off that we can take time out of a four hour show to 'pose with some old farts,' but he can't defend his prestigious cruiserweight title. The legends don't take kindly to this, and geriatric beatdown follows, as they bury Chavo even further down the card.

---We're attempting to get a word with the World Heavyweight Champion, but he doesn't want to have a word with us, as he slams his locker room door shut.

---"The Condemned" trailer with 'added footage.' Whatever.

---Trump and Lashley are in the back, talking about Vince's follicle care. Exciting as it sounds. We're really dragging here, it's been almost twenty five minutes since we've been in the ring. 'Battle of the Billionaires' is next!

---Video recap of the Vince/Trump feud.

---Battle of the Billionaires, loser gets their head shaved: Bobby Lashley (rep. Donald Trump) vs Umaga (with Armando Alejandro Estrada, rep. Vince McMahon), special guest referee Stone Cold Steve Austin - The entrances alone take up almost fifteen minutes. Austin gets a massive pop, while Trump gets booed out of the building, which goes to show one thing that the WWE still hasn't learned; if the two guys fighting are both jerks, wrestling fans will always side with the wrestling guy in the end. You know, if Vince really wanted to get over as a heel in this match, he should have played up the not-so-subtle racist overtones. Think about it- you've got two older, white millionaires with minorities under their employ whom they pay money to fight each other so they don't have to. Vince should have gone completely over the top, channeled his inner plantation owner, and made Umaga carry him to the ring on his shoulders while he sat in a rocking chair, and had Trump wear a Union Civil War outfit with a beard like John Brown's. Then Vince could have dressed Coach up in sackcloth and....can you tell I'm slightly uncomfortable with this whole angle? I mean, seriously, there are actually some non knee-jerk PC issues here that probably shouldn't have made it past the planning stages, you know? Anyway, we're way off the track, so to the match. Lashley controls early as JR gushes about Lashley's military background like he played football or something. Trump looks as bored as I do, while Vince is screaming at him from across the ring. Crowd: "We want Rosie." Lashley misses a blind charge in the corner, and now it's Umaga's turn to take control with a series of nerve holds that make Yokozuna's look like hardcore UFC submissions. Lashley is just lost out there; he's not ready to carry a match like this, which admittedly has a ton of heat. "Shave Trump's head" is the chant as Lashley works out of a chinlock, and we cue the overbooking. And my lord, get ready, because this here's a doozy. So Lashley fights out and Umaga tosses him to the floor. Trump goes over to check on him but Austin shooes him away, which allows Shane-O-Mac to run out from the back and whack Lashley with a chair. This just pisses Lashley off, and he turns around like an idiot, allowing Umaga to attack him from behind. Shane gets in Trump's face, and Trump slaps him. Shane throws a punch; Trump weakly blocks it and gives Shane a lovetap that Shane sells as though Ali just cold-cocked him. Vince's eyes bug out of his head and he hits Trump in the back with the PUSSIEST chair shot ever, which Trump proceeds to no-sell. Trump turns around, and the crowd is about a million times more interested in this than the actual match taking place. Trump tries to chase Vince, who hides behind Estrada. Trump shoves Estrada now, and Estrada throws powder into his face. I shit you not, DONALD TRUMP has now become the victim of every cheap heel tactic this side of Memphis. In the meantime, Lashley and Umaga are back in the ring, with Lashley in control. He goes for a pumphandle slam and nearly drops Umaga on his head. Shane is stirring on the outside after Trump's devastating left, and he gets to the apron to distract Austin and allow Vince to nail Lashley with the ECW belt. Umaga signals for the Spike, but Trump has regained his wiles and shoves him off the top rope. He goes into the ring despite Ausin's protests, which makes Austin look pretty terrible and weak, and calls out Vince. Vince looks like he's game, and he gets in there, but Austin gets in-between the two. Both are yelling at each other, but when Vince tries to get at Trump, he connects with Austin, who turns to Vince and calmly it's KICK WHAM STUNNER, allowing Trump to throw him out of the ring. Austin escorts Trump out, allowing Lashley to get the Dominator, but Shane breaks up the pin now. This is a clusterfuck of epic proportions. Shane eats a stunner as well, and here comes Coach down the aisle. Estrada meets him halfway, pointing at Austin and screaming, but Coach clubs him in a shocking SWERVE, and joins Trump, shaking his hand. Jesus. Lashley hits a second Dominator and gets the pin at 19:11. *1/4 for the match, but the crowd heat was admittedly something to behold. Vince comes to and tries to escape, but Austin catches him, stuns him again, and shoves him into the barber chair for Trump to shave bald. Vince's facial expressions are something to behold as Trump shaves him clean, letting Austin and Lashley each take a turn. I don't know what the point of this was outside of Vince's usual masturbatory self-booking, but I hope we never have to hear about it again.

---We're in the back with John Cena, who gives a quiet, intense interview about what Wrestlemania means to him, about how amazing it felt to hear the crowd when he made HHH tap last year. Uh, John- they booed you out of the building last year. And I'm not sure that anyone in the WWE right now considers reminding HHH of a job to be a good career move. Still, great interview- Cena can clearly handle this spot if they allow him a little room to breathe outside his character. It's only when he lapses into the catchphrase wigger crap that he starts to piss people off.

---Women's Title Match: Melina vs. Ashley - Ashley kicks Melina in the gut and goes for a small package in the first ten seconds. Melina kicks out and throws Ashley in the corner, peppering her with kicks. Melina is certainly game tonight, considering she's going to have to carry this thing. Ashley tries to reverse an Irish whip and misplants her feet, twisting her ankle and causing a really awkward spot where a clothesline turns into a punch to the gut. Ashley goes to the chinlock and looks to be in a lot of pain, almost as much as the viewer at this point. Melina elbows into a belly to back suplex, and Ashley is really in pain now. She's trying, I'll give her that, but she's still pretty bad. Melina puts us out of our misery with a DDT at 5:34. 1/2* Felt like they went home early after Ashley's injury, and I admire her for gutting it out, but the second coming of Christy Hemme she is not.

---Randy Orton is in the back, and he wants CM Punk tomorrow night on Raw, for the briefcase.

---Video package of Taker/Batista.

---World Heavyweight Title: Undertaker vs. Batista - Undertaker gets his usual entrance, complete with Druids and torches. Staredown to start. JBL talks on commentary about how Batista is clearly intimidated by facing a man bigger than he is, while Cole interjects some nonsense about Batista not feeling fear. JBL correctly calls Cole an idiot. Slugfest gets us going, and Taker grabs a headlock. Batista tries to push him off, but Taker hangs on, as JBL continues to tell the story of Batista not used to being overpowered. JBL is just really good calling this match. Finally, Batista shoves him off the ropes, but takes a clothesline coming back. Taker is being really methodical here, and ducks a right into a hammerlock. Taker wrenches back, then into an armbar, and whips Dave into the corner. Right, right, right, and now to the other corner. He misses the charge, but runs off the ropes and clotheslines Batista out. Taker follows, but Batista immediately rolls back in and stomps Taker when he follows. Now, it's Batista in control, and he goes to a chinlock. Batista is selling confusion really well, I'll give him that. Probably not too much of a stretch. Taker elbows out and gets a side slam. Snake Eyes attempt, but Batista wriggles free and shoves Taker into the corner, catching him with a boot to the back of the head. He goes up, but Taker catches him and slams him off the top. Taker has absolutely dominated the match so far. Armbar and ropewalk follow, and Taker signals his thumb across the throat, but Batista pops up with a spinebuster when Taker comes off the ropes. Batista sets him up on the top for the superplex, and here's where it happens; somehow, his ankle gets caught behind him on the superplex attempt and breaks in gruesome, Sid Vicious-like fashion. He screams in pain on the mat, and Nick Patrick makes the 'X' sign for real. Taker gets up and immediately hits the tombstone for the pin and title at 9:23. ** They were going okay before Batista's career ended in front of us, even if it wasn't a classic or anything. They show the replays, and it looks like his foot got caught on the top rope and he pulled it back too far to compensate. Considering his age and standing with the company, I think it's safe to say that we've seen the last Batista match we're going to see, which is sad- no one wants to see things like this. They stretcher Batista out while Undertaker poses.

---Well, that was a downer, and now there's even more time for Shawn and Cena to fill.

---Meanwhile, Mr. Kennedy wants Punk for the briefcase on Smackdown.

---We're with Shawn Michaels, who readily admits that this might be his last shot at the title, and he's ready for it. Ric Flair and Chris Benoit come in, ostensibly to wish him luck. He thanks them, and Ric asks if they can talk to Shawn for a minute.

---Video package for Cena/Shawn.

---WWE Championship match: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels - Well, after the first world title match went short, I hope they've got enough in their tanks to put on a good one here. Shawn in the clear crowd favorite. Shawn takes Cena down in a headlock to start, and doggedly hangs on, much like he did against Angle at WM21. Again, the story is simple- Shawn isn't as fast or young as he was, but he can still outwrestle Cena. Cena rolls him over for two, and Shawn releases. Cena charges, but Shawn hits an armdrag and goes to a cross-armbreaker. Cena makes the ropes and rolls out, visibly frustrated. Shawn does jumping jacks inside the ring. Cena back in and he reverses an Irish whip into a clothesline, and another when Shawn gets back up. Left, left, left into the corner, and Cena whips him to the other corner. Charge eats boot, and Shawn goes back to the cross-armbreaker, really working the shoulder. Cena maneuvers out, so Shawn turns it into a hammerlock. He takes a couple of shots at the shoulder before Cena backs him into the corner and elbows out. Shawn tries to come out of the corner as Cena is shaking it off, but Cena catches him with a powerslam. He drops an elbow and hits a legdrop, and the crowd HATES it. Cena starts to work in more heelish mannerisms, as he gets on top of Shawn and pounds away. Shawn sunset flips him for two, but Cena rips his head off with a clothesline. Cena is still shaking off the arm injury and he goes to work on Michaels' back with a couple of elbows and a double axehandle. He rolls Shawn into a Boston Crab, and the crowd is really pissed off now. Shawn does his awesome sell job, scratching and clawing his way towards the ropes, and Cena pulls him back to the center of the ring. Shawn tries again for the ropes and makes it, but Cena won't break. He attempts to drag him back again, but Shawn hangs on and the ref pulls him off. Cena poses to massive boos, and puts Shawn back into the center of the ring. He steps through, setting up for what looks like a Sharpshooter, but Shawn gets a small package for two. Cena is pissed and tosses Michaels. He follows, but Shawn kicks him in the gut and sends him to the post, shoulder-first. He preps the announce table, but Cena low blows him and legdrops him through the table. He throws Michaels back into the ring and knees him in the back. He then tries for a Texas Cloverleaf, but Shawn kicks him in the injured shoulder. He kips up and catches Cena's arm off a clothesline into a Crippler Crossface (!). JR: "What were he and Benoit talking about right before this match?" With insightful commentary like that, it's no wonder he's a Hall of Famer, folks. Cena tries the HHH rolling counter from Wrestlemania XX, and makes the ropes. Shawn sits on top of him, hammerlocks him, and rolls him over for two. He cues up the band, but Cena sees it coming and ducks out of the ring. He grabs the belt and threatens to take a walk, but Michaels gives chase. And now, since all that 'wrestling' didn't work as well as he'd hoped, Cena goes back to the rights and lefts, taking control and sending Shawn into the ring steps, which triggers our obligatory Michaels blade job of the night. "Cena Sucks" chant is getting louder as Cena rolls Shawn back in. Five Knuckle shuffle and Cena signals for the FU. He tries to get Michaels up, but the shoulder is gone and he drops him. He tries it again and Shawn turns it into a tornado DDT for two. Both men are down, and Michaels kips up. Cena to his feet but misses a wild right, and Shawn hooks a Crossface Chickenwing! Man, if that's a tribute to Ricky Steamboat at WM3, good on him. Cena screams in pain, but won't quit. He moves his legs and flips Michaels over into a pin, but Michaels breaks. Both men are exhausted, and this match is awesome. Michaels with a belly to back suplex, and he goes up for the flying elbow, but Cena meets him at the top and flips him into a top rope FU. That gets two and now Cena is pounding the mat in frustration. Cena goes for the STFU, but Shawn flips him into an anklelock before he can complete the move, and Cena quickly makes the ropes. After the break, he charges Shawn but gets caught and catapulted into the post, and now we've got a double gusher. Cena stumbles and Michaels rolls him up for two. A shoulderbreaker and flying elbow follow, and now we're cueing up the band again. But again, Cena hears it coming and turns it into an electric chair. Cena is bleeding everywhere. He hits his sideslam and goes for a third FU, but Michaels reverses and superkicks him! Michaels crawls over, but Cena gets his foot on the ropes at two as the crowd has a collective heart attack. Michaels argues with the ref and Cena knocks him down from behind into the STFU. Shawn tries for the ropes, and looks like he may get there. Cena attempts to pull him back, but that proves to be his undoing as his shoulder is too hurt to hold on when he pulls back too far, and he has to break. He tries to reapply the hold, but Shawn rolls through into a cross-armbreaker. Cena pulls him into a cradle for two. He hits a backbreaker for two, but doesn't get enough of it, and Michaels takes him down to the mat and applies his own STFU. Cena is fading, but powers out. This proves to be his last stand, however, as Michaels hits him with a superkick as soon as he gets to his feet and falls on top of him for the pin and the title at 34:17. ****1/2 Easily Match of the Night and probably the year so far. Some of the transitions were awkward but the selling was simply impeccable. Cena's best match ever, as he kept up with Shawn like a champ.

---Cena is pissed, but he grabs the title as Shawn stares him down. He looks as though he's going to hand him the belt, then he thinks better of it, then he changes his mind again, and hands the belt over to Shawn and raises his hand. And.....Flair and Benoit are out? Flair's got the mic. He says that he's tired of being seen as a joke around here. He says that he was once the leader of the greatest group the wrestling world has ever known, and as of right now, he's taking back what's his. Michaels looks confused as Flair gets in the ring. He calls Michaels a 'has-been' who isn't fit to 'carry the Nature Boy's condoms.' Way to appeal to the kids in the audience, Ric. Shawn grabs the mic and asks him what he's talking about, and Flair smiles. He grabs it back and says "I'm talking about the return of the most powerful group in wrestling history." And now CENA nails Michaels from behind! Benoit and Flair join in the beatdown until Shawn is a quivering mass of jelly on the mat. Flair grabs the mic and spits on Michaels as he says "As of now, Whoooo, the Four Horsemen are back!" The three of them go back to beating on Shawn until Undertaker makes the save. The three of them retreat down the aisle, flashing the four fingers. Flair promises to reveal the identity of the 4th Horseman tomorrow night on Raw. Undertaker helps Shawn to his feet, and they pose with their belts to end the show.

BOTTOM LINE: Uh, the 4 Horsemen? Okay, I guess. But if they wheel out Carlito tomorrow night as the 4th guy, you'll hear a groan go through the audience like you've never heard. I'm not sure about Cena being a part of it either, but maybe they can make it work.

As for the show, you could better term this one 'injury-mania', as there were no less than three serious injuries, one of which, Batista's is probably a career-ender. On the flipside, there were two really great matches, some decent stuff, and some really off the wall craziness. But it was pretty dense for a four-hour show. Still, the main event is a must-see, and it wasn't bad for a Wrestlemania at all. Mild Recommendation.